Worries

Today the nerves began to kick in.

I was wondering what the hell have I gotten myself into!? This was all brought about by the staff at a bike shop I visited today who thought I was crazy to do this trip. To make it worse, I browsed through photos of the bike and build alumni--tan, athletic looking chaps. And I was getting worried. I felt pale and flabby.

But the worst part was that I began to doubt myself. I was thinking Alia, you haven't trained enough. You're not fit enough to do this. Ghosts of the third-grader who got picked last in team sports flooded in; the 9th grade mile I couldn't run came to mind.

So I took a nap--which is what I've been doing increasingly these past few weeks (a good way to just ignore the problem for a while ;)) I had a nightmare.

In it, the world was distorting itself as I stood in a bike shop. A murderer had stolen a car and was in the parking lot. It was raining and I wandered with my keys, pressing the unlock button which activated multiple cars that weren't mine.  For what seemed like a happy mood change, Skanda and Justin drove with me in a Mini but all happiness was evaded when the dream ended with us flying (the Mini turned into a plane) into a prominent building.

I trudged downstairs to my parent's bedroom in a daze. We unpacked my gear and talked.
What's the worst that can happen?

I could get really tired and feel like shit every day until I get used to it.
I could fall of my bike and really hurt myself.
I could feel fat and un-athletic if everyone else is super fit.

They're stinky scenarios but not SO terrible.

So no more worries because they don't help. I actually came across Dale Carnegie's book today in B&N something titled like "How To Stop Worrying" or something remarkably similar to my dilemma.
Here's a summary I found online:

Fundamental facts you should know about worry

1. If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
2. The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
   1. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
   2. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
   3. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."

*http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/stop-worry.html

Well I'll head off to sleep now. 

Good night!